I Wont Dance, Dont Ask Me
by George Wood
Men are willing to go through a lot for the chance to meet and date beautiful women. We work hard to look right, to dress well, and we work on our manners and how we talk to women. It takes some preparation because women are totally different creatures than our guy friends. But it is worth it because we are hoping for so much more than we get from male relationships. We are hoping for romance, dates, some kissing and hugging (and more), and the excitement of getting to know an exciting, sexy woman.
So we prepare ourselves in all these ways and go to the places where single girls will be. At the top of the list of places are night clubs and bars where there is music, drinking, and a fun-loving atmosphere where singles like you and me can relax and get to know the girls we hope will become our lovers.
But the one thing that oftentimes intimidates men at clubs and parties is dancing. It is a common problem that we just do not feel comfortable dancing or do not know how. And yet we see guys in clubs getting lots further with women if they can get out there and dance with them in a romantic way.
There is no doubt that dancing is romantic. The movement of the bodies is sexy and stimulating. If it is a fast dance, the moves seem to almost simulate sexual activity. Slow dancing is like a legal excuse to hug the girl and hold her close, even if you just met her.
But that does not change our anxiety and sense of clumsiness when it comes to getting out on the dance floor. So just as you spent time learning what to wear, how to walk and talk, what pick-up lines work and all the other new skills you have to learn to become successful with the ladies, you should approach dancing in the same way. What do you need to know and how do you go about learning it?
Please Teach Me?
You can actually use your dancing inability to your advantage in a flirting situation. If there is dancing going on and you can tell the girl wants to dance with you, you can put yourself in her hands with a line like I have never been able to dance, but I would love to dance with you if you would teach me.
This kind of line is like setting off a charge in a woman. In one statement you are making a declaration of desire for her, I want to dance with you, and a statement of vulnerability, Will you teach me? Dancing has elements of sexual exchange in it, so expressing that desire excites that impulse in her as well. But by being vulnerable to her, she sees you as sensitive and in need of her help, which triggers the nurturing side of her. She can take you to the floor and give you that tender loving care and instruction that will bond you and her together. The lessons she gives you may be the most sensual dance lessons ever given.
What is a Dance, Anyway?
Dancing with a woman sends dozens of intimate signals to her. One way to overcome your shyness about dancing is to think about what is happening out there when your bodies begin to move together.
Dancing is relationship. You move together to create the shared experience of the dance. Your bodies tend to mimic each others in such a way that has powers to draw you together unlike any other.
Dancing is sensual. Slow dancing is so much like love making that the comparison as you hold her is inescapable. You really do not have to know a lot about moves to slow dance. In essence, you hold her to your body and sway. Your hips are touching, her chest is against yours, your faces close, your face in her hair. She can feel your breath and the chance to whisper romantic things to her is immediate and exciting. In a short, three-minute dance you can put moves on a woman that would never be possible at any other moment in the evening.
Dancing is give and take. Both of you have roles in the dance. You have the male role of leading and she the female role of following you. Again, even if you do not know a lot about the moves, just directing the dance around the floor can set in motion the male-female relationship as it should work in real life. In that way, the dance is a simulation, a miniature version of the romantic, the sexual, the social, and the emotional relationships that mature between a man and a woman in the growth of your romance together.
It is a Dialog
The famous Arthur Murray, whose dance studios dot the country from Maine to California, once said that dance is conversation set to music. As you stand near each other moving to the music, you have an amazing moment with the woman you desire. You have all her attention as she seeks to make her dance motions enhance yours. You can send powerful messages of romance, desire, passion, and affection just in how your hips, your arms, your shoulders, and your head move in the dance.
In the same way, she is sending you messages with her body that should give you an encyclopedia of knowledge of the soul of this woman. Do not take your eyes off of her. By making her the center of your world on the dance floor, a romantic electricity can erupt between you that will leave the floor and spill over into your dating life as it continues through out the night.
But it has to be Harder than That!
Well yes, to really become a good dancing, you should look into taking some lessons. The good news is lessons are easy to find, usually not that expensive, and they are fun. And if you are thinking like a good lover, you can use the lessons to continue your romance with the girl you met. If your relationship spilled out of the club or even if you only got her phone number, a terrific first date line would be, It was so exciting to dance with you, I want to take ballroom dancing lessons and get really good at it. Will you join me at [the dance studio] and be my partner?
Let me tell you that next to a marriage proposal, there is no question more exciting to her than this. You are asking her to join you in a great adventure. You are showing interest in self-improvement, a top-ten quality of any future lover, and your self-improvement involves being a better date and lover for her! By asking her to be your partner, you are clearly saying, I want to dance the dance of love with you . . . come, lets learn that dance together.
You may not even know it but in that one statement, you just used a sophisticated seduction technique . . . all because you didnt know how to dance but had the courage to take it on and use it to romance the woman of your dreams.
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